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spreading her wings like snow.

I'm sorry, but your greedchan is in another castle.

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Found this on Our friends page today
so We had to do it

So here it is, in all its glory:

Title: Nyoro~n...
Characters // Pairings: Havoc, Hawkeye, Fuery, Breda, Falman, Mustang, Ed // None
Rating: PG?
Wordcount: 688
Type: Oneshot
Warnings: Um. *shrug*
Summary: Could it be...?


It was pretty warm in hell, the male portion of Roy Mustang's team had discovered.

When Fuery arrived with coffee that day, everyone had been chatting boredly, scrawling Roy's forged signature all over the paperwork they'd been doing for what seemed like forever now. The bespectacled communications expert had passed out the warm styrofoam mugs and took his place, and everyone else continued on with their various conversations.

Havoc, who had been abnormally quiet today, put down his pen abruptly. Everyone looked up.

"Do you think," he began suddenly, talking over everyone else and cutting them all off, "that Lieutenant Hawkeye might in fact be a lesbian?"

Falman shut his eyes, seeming to think about it. "It seems likely," he said finally. "I personally have never heard her mention any men. Come to think of it, she is rather quiet about her personal life. I would give an educated guess and say it's about a seventy-five percent chance."

"Yeah, remember when she used to wear her hair short?" added Breda, pen resting rather precariously on the shelf of his belly. "I mean, that's a lesbo thing, right? And she wears the mens' uniform..."

"So does Maria Ross," pointed out Fuery, taking a gulp of his coffee. "What if..."

"...they're together?!" finished an excited-sounding Havoc, standing abruptly and nearly knocking his chair over in the throes of his epiphany. As it was, it rocked back and forth rather dangerously. "This... this is monumental!"

"What is?" came a new voice, and the door clicked shut behind their commander. Roy took his place at the front of the room, dropping the daily paper on the desk as he settled into the large leatherbacked chair.

"Hawkeye's a lesbian!" burst out Havoc, steadying his chair before plopping back down into it. "This theory is definitely plausible, Chief, haven't you suspected it too?!"

Roy stared at him for a moment. "You do know what this means," he said flatly.

Everyone else stared at him. They had no idea.

"This means that every time she tells me off for chasing skirts as opposed to doing paperwork, she's been jealous," he finished with a rather wicked smirk. "You're right, Havoc, this is indeed monumental."

"Yeah, I thought so," replied the blonde, looking pleased. "This is totally the truth. We gotta find out for sure, though..."


"Covert ops," said Havoc, nodding.

And so it began.

It began small, just extra-long glances at the woman around the office or following her to the gun range.

It got bigger, though, snowballing into a complete stalking mission encompassing all five of them. The Colonel even enlisted Ed to the cause, having him help Fuery bug the Lieutenant's house while she was out shopping one night. Ed had protested, but they'd got him on board with the promise of a dozen bowls of white rice with his choice of sauces and a twelve-inch cherry pie.

Days went by, and the men were becoming more and more convinced. They hadn't caught anything super questionable or blatant yet, of course, but they were all rather confident that they'd find something.

They were discussing it rather feverishly one day, when Hawkeye herself came in with a sheaf of paperwork in one hand and a box of donut holes in the other. "Here," was all she said, leaning past Falman to place the box in the center of the table. "And here," she added, beginning to pass out more paperwork to the already-swamped desk residents.

Everyone looked at each other. They'd all shut up when she'd come in, and now were nudging each other, all trying to figure out who would be the one to ask her. Finally, Havoc was somehow silently elected, and he raised his hand, cigarette wiggling between his fingers. "Lt Hawkeye! Hey, Lt Hawkeye!"

She turned her amber gaze to him, and he couldn't stop himself. "Have you ever been with a woman?!"

"No," she said flatly, and turned on her heel and left.

The atmosphere in the office turned dismal, and all of them made relatively the same disappointed face.

Well, they were all going to hell, it seemed.

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xDDD I loved it. Especially how they got /Ed/ to join. It just takes a little bit of food to get him in, huh? That's cute. xD Poor Hawkeye. The guys and their fantasies. xD That was great, though. Write more! I love your FMA!

xDDD We know, right? Silly Edo. xD We bet there were sexual favors, too... xD God. xD We know so many dudes who think lesbians are the hottest shit alive. *had to do it* xD We konw, right? o-o Should We? xD Yay!

Haha, that was wonderful! I'm so psyched my silly little comic inspired you so much. <3

I love how excited Havoc is at the thought of Riza and Maria Ross together. I can see hi picturing it with a happy (if disturbing) little smile...

Great fic!

xD I get inspiration from the weirdest places, so this was just off the charts have-to-write-that.

xDD I had this image of him jumping up and throwing his fists around.

:3 Thanks!

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